Updated: Jan 2, 2021
The author emphasises on some of the issues normalised in our society/culture. Some of it not only includes pretence, pleasing and fear but also “going with the norm" among others. Many topics are covered including the intimacy/relationships . Worth a read!.
Currently on a re-read.
Some of my favourite quotes from this book (some are slightly edited for simple explanation) include;
Certainty is the enemy of growth: Sometimes we cling on to our known values which end up destroying us, instead we should live by mundane titles. Hence, Uncertainty is the root of all progress and growth; be open to learn and have more experiences rather than entangling yourself in beliefs and expectations which lead to stereotyping and biases towards self/others.
We are individually responsible for everything in our lives despite the external circumstances.
Improvement at anything is based on thousands of failures: If someone is better than you in something, chances is that they have failed more times than you have.
The mark of a healthy relationship is when two people solve their own personal problems/issues and become happy about each other. Contrary, an Unhealthy relationship is when two people try to solve each others problems in order to make the other happy.
Growth is an endless iterative process; we move from wrong to slightly less wrong in pursuit of perfection but we may not reach the peak. As Michael Jordan noted, "We fail over and over again to succeed".
We stand for nothing if we can't reject something; avoiding rejection (giving/receiving) makes us directionless through a short-term pleasure. If something sucks say “NO” with no apology.
Experience is necessary and desirable while young; but depth is where the gold is buried. You have to stay committed to something and go deep to dig it up whether it is careers, relationships or lifestyle.
Learn to sustain the pain you have chosen rather than numbing it.
Happiness requires struggle not the avoidance of it. An entrepreneur will appreciate the risk, uncertainty , time and lots of energy with repeated failures that may end up in absolutely nothing.
****************TO BE EDITED AFTER SECOND READ*********************************